2 X'mases...

It's a year since T left
Placed him with memories behind my mind
It did not hurt as much as thought
As I was prepped for his leaving
No regrets it didn't work out
Cos I tried and knew it wasn't meant to be
But why did it hurt a wee bit more
One X'mas later?

Thoughts of T kept recurring
As I found a new focus
Have I settled for lesser
A he less critical and chivalrous
and yet more honest and uncomplicated
But why did both fail to notice the one before them?

2 X'mases and 2 misses
Angst not but pure weariness
I lament not for them who have bypassed me
But for the love that has evaded me
And the loneliness that will seep in this X'mas
Why is it always so complex?

"Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start"