Life...is about choices

Life is about choices

I have a classmate who lamented
how his workplace and colleagues are
non-supportive of his studies
and how he feels compelled to put in long hours
and has compromised his studies as a result.
We spent the next few minutes li-li-lor-lor-ing
I tried to think of ways to make his work life easier
till a sudden realisation led me to say:
"Wait a minute... you made a choice
You chose work over school
so...??"

As much as like him
My choice is clear
It's school for me
Almost certain academia is for life.
If such life-turning decision is made
without having to think hard -
it's as natural as my attraction to tiny-floral motifs
then why am I taking days to even
consider between two subjects?

So the question about the self
Are we more the product of choices
or circumstances?
It is so easy to conclude it depends, doesn't it?
Circumstances constrict us to certain routes
but still we make choices based on what we have
whether it's a dead end or cross-road junction
how we can turn back, stay put or proceed
Life's still about choices.

Like I can't really blame Mei for causing me constipation
when I was the one who made the choice
to ignore the urge of nature
when I was rushing one of her many demanding book orders.
Like I made the choice not to visit JiaPor more often
when I could brave the stern look of my boss
to plead for leave to finish the research paper
I couldn't just blame the lack of leave to go Malaysia.

One module is of interest
but I'm unsure what I can get out of it.
The other is useful but I dislike the work.
It's about which is more true to myself
gaining the skills or pursuing the ideal
In fact I know I made the choice already.